If the songs on the radio are right, then everybody either wants to be in a relationship, is in a relationship, or is healing a broken heart. And while this may be an over simplification, it speaks to an underlying truth we are hooked on love.

If you are single and want to share your life with someone, it can be really easy to get fixated on finding that perfect partner. The popularity of online dating sites, matchmaking services, and speed-dating parties shows how much attention we put outside of ourselves on our quest to find love.

But looking for love is not like a job hunt. It is not a numbers game, or an interview process where you have to put on your best (artificial) face. In order to experience the love you want, you need to become a magnet for it. This is another manifestation of the law of attraction.

Understanding Frequency

Have you ever heard stories of someone desperately proclaiming I just need a partner right now! and then ending up with someone toxic, co-dependent, or abusive? That was the law of attraction at work. That person made a strong command to the universe from a low frequency state, and got what they requested.

Have you ever felt really amazing, smiling at strangers and being friendly just because you felt like it, and then received some unexpected favor or blessing? Or been in a foul mood and then suddenly found yourself in an argument? More examples of frequency at work.

To be clear, we are not saying that a person ever deserves an unhealthy relationship or unpleasant experience. Rather, these are just examples of how powerful we actually are, and how we need to be mindful of the energy behind our intentions.

In order to bring in the types of experiences you want, it helps to be in the proper frequency. How you feel greatly determines what your world will become.

It Starts Inside

Frequency comes from the inside out. To adjust your external experience, focus on your feelings. Of course, changing feelings is not as simple as adjusting a radio dial. But you can increase your frequency through conscious attention.

Our capacity to receive love from another person is directly related to our capacity to love ourselves. If we are negative, shameful or hateful towards ourselves in any way, we are keeping ourselves in a low frequency state with no way for love to get in from the outside.

Raise your frequency and make yourself more magnetic to love by caring for your body, mind, and heart. Be as physically healthy as you can. Eat well and exercise. Participate in meaningful and joyful activities. Give yourself foods and experiences that make you feel happy. Pamper yourself as if you were your own best partner.

Then find ways to give your love to the world, through work, art, socializing, or volunteering. Share your passions and excitements. Learn to be more authentic and vulnerable with all of your loved ones. The more in love you are, with yourself and all of life, the more love you will bring into your life.

What Do You Really Want?

Many people fixate on what they want their perfect partner to look like, say, or do. While some visualizing can be helpful, often this type of fantasizing leads to unrealistic expectations. You will be disappointed when the person you date does not live up to your fantasy.

Instead of putting all your attention on what you want the other person to be or do, focus on how you want to feel when you are in a relationship. What do you want to experience? Do you value intimacy and spiritual work, or is adventure and practical support more important? What does it mean to you to feel safe, seen, and appreciated? How do you want to be able to share yourself?

Getting Ready

A key piece of magnetizing a love relationship to you is emotional availability. This means that you are actually open to the love you want. It means releasing any past hurts and letting go of baggage. It means being willing to fully reveal your beauty and darkness. Love requires intimacy to grow.

If you do not feel like you could let a person completely into your heart, then it is time to clean house. Engage in forgiveness exercises to let go of any resentments or anger. Get your mind and heart as clear as possible.

Then the next step is to fall in love with yourself. A relationship is not a replacement for self-love. To really bring in someone who will co-create a healthy, mutually supportive, joyful relationship, you need to be fully living your life. This will both raise your frequency and ensure that you are entering a relationship for the right reasons.

To be ready for a loving relationship, open to the frequency of love. When you are in the frequency of love you literally become a magnet for love to come into your life. Get ready for love by caring for yourself, becoming emotionally available, cultivating joyful friendships, pursuing your passions, and becoming the kind of person with whom you want to be in relationship.